Living to Tell the Story

As some of you know I recently fixed an older sander. I began sanding my plywood floors in hope of putting varnish on soon to help keep them clean. I have been living with filthy plywood wood floors accumulating dirt for some years, quite unlike my old self. But I swore I would never have carpet again because of what I found underneath when I removed the carpet, filth. Here shows some pictures of where the sander is laying and I am not.

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While sanding I felt an electrical charge go up my arms ending in my head, it felt like a blast went off in my head. My head blown feels like a headache coming on, but I don’t think I’ll have one.

In the next picture you’ll see what could have been a death warrant, but death didn’t win.

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I am not so sure I won’t go buy a new sander to finish what I started. I know my plywood floors will look great when I am done, but sanding by hand or a big floor sander isn’t in the cards, nor was  the card of death I guess.

 

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Lost Children

Lost children such as I, will soon turn away and go home to stay.

When a person doesn’t show love, how can one show love.

Am I the guilty one?

When someone’s past haunts as they begin to show signs of the past, how does one respond?

I know how I responded, I asked my son to get his things out of my house.

He did, most of it. But that’s not all he took. My peace left too.

How do I get it back when he himself shows no sign that love is present, to pacify me.

I have been left to unrest.

I could get angry and spit him out telling him to get the rest of his shit out and never come back.

But that isn’t in me, but it has been close, a battle rages in me.

I love my son, I just don’t love the past and where it lead. I don’t see any good in it yet.

Maybe that’s it.

I need to see the good no matter how dark it may seem. I know the light comes, it rises everyday.

I have what appears as a dark moon on my finger, the one that a person points with on my right hand. I don’t remember hurting it. I do know it will soon will go away and a new nail will take its place.

Is this what happened, maybe a misunderstanding as a shadow appeared, and then turned dark, so my son and I couldn’t see the good within our hearts?

I know sometimes a parents heart may appear dark and so a child’s, but it is love from within one’s heart that proves love is present and heals broken hearts.

Long ago a curtain was torn into, was it someone’s heart?

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White Wash

nope its not shadow

nope its not shadow

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How Tender Changes Hands

Life is like a mountainous terrain
with many hills and mountains to climb
from down deep in our soul
the waters flow
it may be a gusher of a well
that finds its way to the top
where there is drought.

From the deserts floor
down deep it flows
finding its way up
through the splitting of rocks
providing nourishment once more
turning sands into soil
to feed the flock.

Some find
others not
What is in one’s heart and mind

This man finds water
in the heart of the land
teaching dowsing http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEZ2bd3Ehyw

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Grumpy

Grumpy I may sound but I am not

you must look closer into the work

for within the work is a story

everyday life is lived

it may be a blind state

where some love and share

hoping to show no matter what

Love is right where life leads us.

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Traps Are Set

Yesterday on my way to work, I sometimes don’t wear my seat belt, like that day. I don’t wear one when on a motorcycle, still a vehicle, but in that case I guess they would rather you go flying, leaving the motorcycle behind. An officer of men’s law set at a corner, God they never set there before who does he think he is, god. You ought not, be sitting there especially when you are on my driver’s side making no mistake that strap isn’t across my shoulder. No wonder they devised that type of seat belt so they could catch those darn law breakers. The lap belt was a far better choice. So here came the lights, I turned putting my seat belt on, but it didn’t do any good, I couldn’t lie when he asked if I put it on after I passed, for he was sure I wasn’t wearing it. But here’s the kicker. I couldn’t find my current insurance card. But the officer made sure I was aware that he was being nice, not having my vehicle towed, because I couldn’t present a current card or an electronic facsimile from my phone. Hell I don’t even have a phone that does all those so called necessitates. Which I know now would have proven I was current, you see State Farm doesn’t sleep as long as the system is up, you can log in and access and prove what needs proved. Given my ticket for not wearing my seat belt and not being able to show proof of insurance I was let go to get to work on time to pay that blasted ticket and support my local sheriff, for you see he had nothing better to do then save my life. But he doesn’t understand I have already been saved. I don’t need all those necessitates that the world claims to need. My biggest necessitate is a show of hands raised, pointing to our heavenly father who supports us with the biggest heart ever, Love. No matter what comes in must also go out, sounds like money to me. But I do thank the officer for not towing my vehicle and costing me even more, loss of work for now I would have had to walk, keeping me from showing up at work on time, and paying out the nose for a tow, for living according to the accumulated laws of the world one adds more and more laws to uphold. Instead as my days pass, a real good reason for wearing that seat will be proven. It may just keep me buckled in; no matter how many times the vehicle spins, or rolls. For the wheels spin many times over as it rolls down the road, soon to come to a stop in my driveway, not running back and forth to town, for there is where the written laws must be up held. I chose the law of my heart and love my Father God.

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Support Station

There is story from long ago about a woman who had turned to look at a city being destroyed who then turned to a pillar of salt.

What was this salt?

Might it have been love for the lost souls of the city?

I began not long ago after my son arrived home forming a gabion OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

 

 

 

 

 

 

of my own design. It isn’t a pillar of salt but it is being formed from an iron rod and stone. It isn’t without wobble, but it has some meaning to me. It will be strong as a corner post will support the fence for my goats. I may learn to weld as a branch off to one side and another will give it the strength that is needed. I chose not to tear it down but to continue to see where it leads.

The woman I spoke of was a mother, in the story she was also a wife. I have never been a wife but consider myself as having a husband, God. God supplies me with meaning in my life, as my life is interpreted from love in my heart, of stories I have read. Most from the Bible but I also get support from other books that authors have written finding God is there too. I am given meaning of authors works, and works of the Bible that I so humbly have read over and over again. They supply me meaning in my life as I listen from inside.

The interpretations help calm me in the raging water of the sea, till all are on board no longer fighting to stay alive. We will live for God and serve, not slave. Jesus needs our support as there are many lost souls in the city. Jesus is my cornerstone as he supports me and I support him.

 

 

 

 

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